Best help you need to make a self-reliant child
Children are tabula rasa! A clean slates that need to be written on. They are young minds that are not yet affected by certain experiences; hence, you can easily bring them to a fresh start.
There is a need to nurture and train them in the way they should go. And the major responsibilities lies with parents who have been made overseers over these God’s heritage and minors respective to caregiver and educators.
Good parents should know their role to shape, unfold and make a child self-reliant and actively administer same starting early in childhood.
An essential aspect of training a child is to make him/her reliant. It is one of the best gift you can give your child.
According to WHO (2019), about 800000 people commit suicide yearly, due to one reason or the other. And for every adult that dies, about 20 others must have attempted suicide. It was also recorded by National Institute of Drug Abuse (2018) that 38% of adult suffers illicit drug use disorder, 1 out of 8 adults struggled with both alcohol and drug use disorder at the same time.
The reason to this can be one two or more but if we dig deep into it, we found out that one of the missing gap is their self-reliant level has depleted.
Research also shows that 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. There is an increasing rate of divorce, involvement in drugs, and suicide rates globally since we have so many people who cannot handle failure, success, setbacks, disappointment, and all other forms of world pressure; why because they got no resilience.
The professional sphere is not spared in this broth. Some professionals can’t keep up at their jobs or build an enduring career because their job is too demanding. Some doesn’t have strong resilience to weather storm; change in job role affect some, little thing or challenges set in depression. Huge task makes some easily lose interest in their specialization, some income inequalities and the crumble world economy.
From the preceding, being reliant implies possessing the ability to be unruffled or undisturbed when faced with a seemingly pressurizing situation.
Being able to bounce back on your feet after going through difficult times or when we experience change (times of abundance to not having enough).
Having a sense of self-confidence, self-worth, and courage to face any situation and live a balanced life despite drastic changes or shaking.
Attaining reliant is not a one day work. It is a building up day after day. Every parent should understand this and ensure that this ability is built in their children gradually.
Many parents ‘short circuit’ their children’s training in the name of ‘my children must not pass through the ordeal I went through.’ They prefer to do all things for their children; some don’t allow their children to do any house chores.
And this has negative effect on child upbringing; thus relay to producing children that have very low level of reliance. Such children in nearby future are always at the mercies of rejection and humiliation when they do not come first or when they face challenges. Hence they have an improper definition of success and failure.
What is the need for being self-reliant?
How will your beautiful young girl not decide to take her own life someday? Because reliance is not well taught in their early upbringing.
How will your handsome young champ stay in a ‘forever happy after’? If strong reliance foundation is not laid.
How will ‘daddy’s little girl’ cope with challenging situations at college and work someday? Without helping her build resilience and reliance in early childhood upbringing.
How will mama’s boy not end up in drug addiction in a bid to deal with depression? All because self-reliant skills is missing in his upbringing. Below are some helpful tips to build a self-reliant children.
Tips for making a child self-reliant
Accept your duty to train your child
As a parent, you should know beyond a reasonable doubt that it is your responsibility to build in your child; self-worth, self-confidence, courage, and strength to face the vicissitudes of life. Set out time to teach and guide him/her.
If it seems very easy to get time out to do so many things than be with your child, you need to create time to understand your child and watch him/her develop the necessary skills to face life.
Consciously create a time and space for them that is obvious to them. This sends a message of acceptance and love to the child. Read books to develop yourself as his or her trainer and life coach and spend time praying for him or her.
Leave no aspect of their life to chance
Make sure you have an interest in all aspects of your child’s life, so that he/she may emerge a complete and resilient adult. Man has spirit, soul, and body, and the three most be well catered for to build resilient children.
The spirit of a man responds to a higher power that can sustain his soul and body. A child should be taught how to have a functional relationship with God and to remember that in any situation, the creator has the best for his creation in mind, and he is always available to help.
The soul is the seat of emotion and intellect; a child should be guided to grow intellectually by learning skills and given the right education. He should be opened to helpful information about their society and be well guided along the career path of their interest.
Your child should also learn how to relate well with others; he should know how to show and receive respect and love starting with his immediate family; for charity, they say, begins at home.
Teach your child how to take care of his/ her body
This involves all forms of personal hygiene, sex education, exercise, nutrition, recreation, and rest. All this makes them know what to do and how to do it, which boosts their self-confidence and self-worth.
Encourage them to talk to you about their friends, ask questions and know the kind of friends they keep. Teach them to raise alarm when someone is touching them inappropriately, let them be free with you enough to confide in you and when they do don’t judge them or be unnecessarily harsh.
Do not Indulge them
Nature itself is designed to make children do things themselves being guided. A newborn baby needs the mother’s help to sit him to suck the breast correctly, but he sucks to feed himself. Extracting the milk into a feeding bottle to feed himself is an example of being self-reliant. That way, they begin to learn to do things for and by themselves.
Allow your child to help in house chores. Let them do a small task like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, arranging the dining table for a meal, cooking meals, wetting the flowers, feeding the pets, and so on around the house. This will teach him endurance, patience and teamwork.
Trying to do everything yourself or get someone else to do it to save time or indulge your child is not helpful. Allow him to have time to get things done, even when it seems difficult. Getting it done gives him a sense of self-worth and builds confidence to do other things.
Create an enabling environment at home to teach them life skills
The home is the first school for a child, and everything around it should make learning easy. Involve him in games that teach endurance, teamwork, finance sense, and other virtues. Games like monopoly require him to spend a lot of time on it; therefore, it teaches him patience and endurance. Building bricks together can also teach a good patience lesson.
Teach him about life with situations around them. Teach them to speak the right words by telling them words are like eggs if broken; it can’t be correctly put together again.
Ensure their cloth cabinets, bookshelves, and their bed is within their reach. It will teach them to arrange their bed, cabinet, and shelves as daily and weekly routines and contribute to their self-development. They inculcate a good hygiene habit. Give them room to make mistakes and correct themselves.
Don’t give pressure when their works seems imperfect.
When a baby is learning to walk, he falls several times and tries again. Let your child know that failure is not the end of the road but another opportunity to do better. Teach him and allow him to do it himself. Praise him at every first attempt even when the result is not what you expected, encourage him, and help them do better. Let them also understand there is time for everything on the surface of earth. Live is not a bed of roses’ that tough time don’t last long but tough people do in time of troubles.
Do not bug children with your unwritten rules of ‘you must be perfect’; Rome was not built in a day. So, give room for him to be less than perfect and guide him till he attains perfection. Don’t compare him with other children and tell him they are better than him. It makes him lose self-confidence; he feels he can’t do anything good compare to others. Kindly correct them with love.
You don’t have to go all the way to buy them stuffs for working around the house. Let them see it as part of decent living but pour encomium on them for doing it. Your acceptance of him is significant to his sense of self-worth. You don’t need to pay your child for doing some chores in the house that will take off his sense of responsibility. Instead, let him do it willingly as part of his contribution to the home and his self-development.
The reward is your acceptance of him and the encomium you keep pouring on him. Praise good deeds to boost your child morals.
Don’t just issue commands and make rules; tell him why you feel he should make a particular choice and let him make his decision. An excellent example is the choice of food to eat in a restaurant. You might want vegetables, but he wants junk, let him understand why you’d prefer he eats vegetables to junk.
Or a choice of cloth to wear for a party, your female child might want short ones but explain to her and let her make her decision. Remember, you are a guide in destiny; he is the architect of his own life.
Educated them about money
Let your child know the value of money, such as the things $1 can buy. Let them learn not to squander it. If possible, introduce them to entrepreneurship from an early stage. It is vital that they know these things so that they don’t spend lavishly on unimportant things.
Please help them cultivate the habit of saving for rainy days. Not all days will be sunny, rosy and abundant. Help them realize that it’s what you keep during abundance that will keep you when there’s little. Sensitize them about going for prioritizing needs against their wants this will instill sense of being economical.
Use the simple nursery rhymes “ticks says the clock” to enlighten your child about doing things once and doing it right. Let them understand to everything there is time, season and chance.
Time to sleep, read, watch TV, prepare for rainy days. Instill in your child being punctual and keeping to time. Let him or her understand keeping good friends and doing away from bad ones.
A good orientation on change is constant in life and been able to set goals, implement plans and achieve it timeliness also is good takes.
These few tips is what you need to up bring your child with and sure he or she is in pipe line of strong resilient. The level of self-reliant would grow understanding life intricacies. Remember, it is a step by step approach; daily learning, weekly growing, monthly building, and yearly assessment. This will make a self-reliant child.
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